Sunday, December 30, 2007 @ 1:37 AM: Dispirited?
Dunno whether this is right word to describe?
Or is exacerbating a better word?
Haix... no word can describe that feeling I'm having... that sort of u-know-it-is-impossible-but (ya...) feeling... and the more i look at it, the more it comes to me...
ARGH!!!
Shall go back to my mp3 and songwriting book to channel my feelings... got a rough idea abt the song and tune le... though i would rather i'm not writing this sort of songs... too many in my compilations liao...
thank you for bringing me memories...
Sunday, December 23, 2007 @ 11:51 AM: I know I know
I know what I'm doing might be foolish, or downright stupid...
I know ppl might not even know what I'm doing...
But I'll just wait
Wait as long as I deem it fit
Just like how each day
We do voluntary work and expect no return
(Like u expect trees to hug u and say thank you?)
thank you for bringing me memories...
11:51 AM: Busy!!!
Well... finally some time for me to sit down at the comp and do some blogging... perhaps some sum-up of what's happened in the past 3 weeks and an update of things to come...
Haha... seriously I have not taken a break after my ORD... I remember during those days, I'll just say... hang on for that day, then i'll not need to care about the endless paper work... all the monthly and weekly reports/duties/forecasts/everything that the superiors are waiting for me to generate... yups... as i was talking to caleb (one of my buddies back at the camp though he was never in the same coy as me), i realised that hey i wasn't facing that type of work stress, but it seems my life is still rather the same... busy!!!
Well... the ASEAN Youth Bridge championships had been quite a good tourney to take part in... all thanks to the organisers (and of course including mhay, ann and the rest who have helped us so much, inclusive of the cebu trip)... just quite sad that i got sick on the very crucial day and couldn't play much... but I'm proud to say that it is one of the tourneys I have made the least (or least noticeable) mistakes... haha... and to achieve 6th in the open pairs is quite an achievement for me and my p =) Of course Cebu is a nice place to go... would recommend for ppl who just wish to take a weekend off the urban landscape and appreciate the tranquility of rural backdrop... the sunset there was astounding!
Back to Singapore, we were rushed back into competitive action in the form of National Youth Championships... which of course we didn't do well, including me... What to expect when most of the team members are coughing away at the table, and for me, struggling to concentrate? Haha... I guess mistakes were aplenty... from letting a 4S made by Kelvin to some horrible bidding which didn't see doubles against opps' sacrifice? But of course as I've always said, only concentrate on our own mistakes, correct them and move on... There's no pt in pointing fingers at the post-match review... in which we won't learn (as ppl will deny it is their mistake and not listen anything about it) and unhappiness will rouse... There are many other comps worth fighting for of course... hahaha...
Then of course I get to meet my tutees for the rest of the week... It is fun to teach geography when originally I intend to cover chemistry... haha... the tutee taught i was going to study geog in uni in fact! And of course, a bit of stress when covering those smart kids... u never know how good they are in fact and start asking u questions u've never raised... while for some, the attitudes are good and i hope they'll be ready enough to face the next gruelling academic year of J2...
Now shall talk about what I'll be in for next year (first three months):-
1. ICES attachment at Jurong Island (wow... travelling time will be crazy!!!)
2. 5 tutees (prepared to have at least 3 weekday nights and 1 weekend eaten up)
3. Trials for World Youth Mind Sports in the first two weekends + all the bridge open pairs coming up
4. ECOSingapore (Will be involved in the National Youth Envt Forum 08, certainly busy working behind the scenes for the administrative parts... plus got the Ecohouse project! Argh!)
5. Preparing for my Europe backpack trip in April...
Ok... hopefully I'll manage all these by then... just like how i manage all the academic comps, all the CCAs and all my homework in Sec 4 and J2... Wooh! Gambatte! Certainly can't afford to fall sick again!
thank you for bringing me memories...
Thursday, December 06, 2007 @ 8:15 PM: Of all memories
I was really wondering...
How I wish everything had really happened for me...
How I wish I can accept the deviations from the reality...
How I wish I can forget about the sad and heartbreaking moments...
How I wish I can...
Time has really flown fast... Last year, I remembered taking a photo with ps and simin at the orchard road, right after our bday celebration for ps at the marche converted place at the Heerens.. and there one year later exactly, I was with ps (and the class) thinking of those times (how we squeezed in three ppl's head in the photo) and wondering how things have unfolded things in this entire year.
To say I've achieved much?
Sometimes I really think I still smack of immaturity from the way I think and neglect some other important stuff while playing too much. Haha... still quite insensitive and tends to forget some ppl couldn't take chocs/cheese/starch... and sometimes niao until too much... the tendency to get too indulged in some small petty fun and forgot the large picture... But sometimes u can't really change one's character (expect a less bubbly me at gatherings? no way lorhs), what one can do is to remind himself constantly that he has to be more sensitive and never gives up with oneself when mistakes and wrongdoings are committed.
Sometimes I am really childish and thought that things could be the same way as it is. But sadly as I've written in one of my songs, some things are like broken pieces of a vase, and it is impossible to treat it the same, as much as u wanted... Some things are just against ur wishes... and I am really helpless at this... But I guess I shan't complain here... And difficulties are present to make you really TREASURE what you have... I am always glad to have a bunch of great friends who can really make my day, a great MUM, a uberly talented and hardworking sister, a strict father, equally strict Mr Wong, friendly and understanding commanders in camp, tutees who really have a passion for learning and take the trouble to sms me for all the help given, patient teachers... and so many more that I can't possibly state (Only 5 mins to type liaos)... On this note, I shall persevere in my belief and continue what i'm doing even though obstacles are there... Yeah I can do it!
Sometimes my bridge play is still stagnant right there... those stupid mistakes occurring just makes one feel discouraged... and U KNOW that it is an elementary mistake... But I know that I'm making the effort, my p makes a lot of effort, and this effort won't be wasted...
Ultimately, life has to go on. One could not always stop looking forward, while the best one can do is to improve on oneself... I've been trying hard... And this insecurity feeling in life will always be present (as what my dear p stated)... it could not be overcome, but we can always use it to our advantage!
JIAYOU everyone!
thank you for bringing me memories...
