Sunday, February 03, 2008 @ 9:16 PM: The first third of the intensive months is over!
Well, shall say congrats to myself for having passed the first third phase of the dizzy three months... Ok quite bo liao...
Anyway had quite a few things to blog about... and since I've promised I won't blog my events in my schedule style, shall just say things as I think of it ba...
Firstly, have I been expecting a lot from other ppl? In the very same way that I demand of myself... Perhaps this stems all the sources of my pain and sorrow and disappointment that I will feel occasionally... Yes, I expect myself to put in 100% of my efforts for the events that I have set for doing it well, I expect my tutees to learn 100% of what I teach them and demand the attitude of an eager learner, I expect (sometimes) that ppl will return the favour... of course, my partner and I expect no mistakes from each other (well, i really wonder when's the next time when we'll be playing bridge together... and that's not because i've flown off or what lor, but i guess our schedules don't meet)
While I'm expecting so much from ppl, have I been doing the things that will augur the expectations? haha... sometimes when u've thot that ur intentions will be understood by the other party, sometimes when you thought ppl will appreciate ur kind acts, it is not to be, just as how sometimes one may misread intentions on ur own side as well...
Secondly, I must say I really felt the effects of "silence emanating above all"... haha... i guess everything is spelt out clearly in the silence, and all the more it makes one helpless and desperate.
Ok... one of my kind friends is asking me whether I'll be having a date on that coveted day... well, i could only feel along the lines of one of fish leong's songs - feng shou kuai le (u may deduce which is the line) and it isn't that bad considering I'll be having a date actually - with my TUTEE! hahaha... Well paths may never cross (parallel lines or that the lines are diverging... i'm hoping a mod function can come in though) and some things just couldn't be forced... sometimes being an outside person may actually help u see things better (i'm not going to quote that proverb since my comp doesn't allow chinese characters)...
Went for a party celebration yesterday and was actually quite happy to see a lot of ppl whom I've not seen for a long time... haha... just wondering how i shld celebrate my bday, and when as well... haha... and there's one more person to celebrate with me (my sis of course!) so i guess it'll be quite a crowded affair!! and so sadly, this will be the last celebration until like at least 5 years later? Wow... din think she applied for my uni though she had intended to...
and seriously i feel europe trip is diaoozed... dun really have the energy to cover all those issues, shall wait until my CNY (chu xi can shou shui!!) and settle all the remaining issues... and come and think of it, my room is in a heap of mess... shall do a bit of packing before CNY comes... anyway shld be quite free during CNY weekend so can jio me out for outings or wat (hmm... had wanted to organise BMT/4A/7B/... outings but perhaps I shld give myself more personal time, reflecting on issues and learning from them...
thank you for bringing me memories...
