Sunday, November 29, 2009 @ 7:52 AM: Friendships
Sometimes some stuff I may take it really hard, cos I really think and work my best for some organisation or people or event...
But when things are not reciprocated, I just get that sense of dl-ness...
Why am I always bothering to put in so much effort? Sometimes even more effort and sacrificing my own interest for the better good of everyone and not recognised? My mum would always laugh at how foolish I am, and would always ask me how many friends would do that for me... At the end of the day, ppl might even think i have evil motives up my sleeves...
Despite such reminders all over the place, I still believe in the principle that I have always held over friendships and whatever i do... I was glad that these days I had some friends to confide in and really know my character well (wow some I do not exactly know), and I was pleasantly surprised by some friend's intuitive insight into my thoughts about friendships, and gave me the advice of not expecting too high about others. Me having gone thru the leadership positions would have treated some stuff with different sensitivity and big picture in mind, but leadership styles are varied, and adapting is important. I have no qualms regarding different leadership styles, but sometimes being totally statistic or cold or analytical about events is just not the thing for me. I just feel human touch should always be there, and what's the point of organising an event just to organise a good one? After all, it is the interpersonal relations which are the most important!
Meanwhile really, there's no point trying hard and making myself upset. As seen in a recent biochem essay practice, I've finally got a better mark with a slacker essay compared to essays I have put in so much time to research... Perhaps it is time to involve myself less and being able to withdraw myself to avoid hurt. And meanwhile I shall be on my hunt for meaningful friendships and relations
thank you for bringing me memories...
